When your teen seems to be pulling away
For parents of teens 13 to 17 who can't tell whether this is a phase or something more.
Book a Free 15-Minute ConsultWhat You Might Be Thinking
- He used to talk to me, and now it's one-word answers.
- She quit the team and won't say why.
- The door stays closed, and I don't know what's going on in there.
- I can't tell if I'm overreacting.
Not knowing whether to worry is reason enough to ask.
For Parents Who Aren't Sure
This page is for parents of teens 13 to 17 who have watched their teen pull away and can't tell what it means. Maybe friends have stopped coming by, a sport or club your teen loved has quietly fallen off, or dinners together have turned into a closed door.
Some distance is part of growing up. It can be harder to read when it comes with irritability, changes in sleep or eating, slipping grades, or a flatness that doesn't lift. Withdrawal can be part of depression or anxiety, and sometimes it follows something that happened.
Early intervention is one of the reasons I do this work. Asking early is not overreacting. It never wastes anyone's time, and it gives you more to go on than guessing from the other side of a door.
Signs Worth Paying Attention To
No single sign settles the question, and together they are worth a closer look.
Pulling Back From People
Less time with friends and family, one-word answers, and skipping meals, outings or plans your teen used to join without being asked.
Dropping What They Loved
Quitting a team, an instrument or a hobby with little explanation, or seeming flat about things that used to light them up.
Irritability and a Short Fuse
Snapping over small things, or anger that seems bigger than the moment. In teens, low mood can look more like irritability than sadness.
Sleep, Eating and School
Sleeping much more or much less, changes in eating, and grades or attendance that slip without an obvious reason.
Taking the First Step
Care follows three steps, and the first is a short conversation.
- 1
Free 15-Minute Consult
A short phone conversation where you can describe what you have noticed at home and ask the questions on your mind.
- 2
Initial Evaluation
60 to 90 minutes, in person at the Minot office or by telehealth, to understand what is behind the change and begin a plan.
- 3
Follow-Up Sessions
30 to 45 minutes to review how things are going and adjust a plan that may include medication management and CBT or DBT skills.
What We Work Toward Together
I can't promise when, or how, things will shift for your teen, and no two teens move at the same pace. What we work toward is a clearer picture of what the distance is about, a plan that fits your teen's life at home and at school, and steady follow-up so the plan can change as your teen does.
A teen who is pulling away still deserves a place to be heard without judgment. You deserve plain answers too, about how psychiatric care works and what the next step is, in language that makes sense.
Fees in Brief
Talking through what you have noticed costs nothing, since the 15-minute phone consult is free. For your teen, the initial evaluation is $300 and each follow-up session is $125.
- Consult
- $0
- 15 min
- Evaluation
- $300
- 60 to 90 min
- Follow-up
- $125
- 30 to 45 min
Questions About a Withdrawn Teen
How can I tell if this is a phase?
It can be hard to tell from the outside, and you don't have to work it out alone. The evaluation is a careful look at what is behind the change.
How does my teen's first visit work?
Bring your questions about how a teen's first visit works. We go over them at the consult.
What if my teen talks about harming themselves?
Call or text 988 or call 911 now. This practice is not an emergency service, and your teen deserves help without waiting.
Noticing the change is a good place to start
Book a free 15-minute consult and tell me what you have been seeing at home.
Book a Free 15-Minute Consult